// September 8 2013//

Schools been in for two weeks and I didn’t exercise until the end and it allowed for a lot of tension to build up and overwhelm me. My yoga class has been really fun and awesome so far. And it feels kinda good the next day. Not so much sore as liberating. I can tell that I’ve gotten fatter if you will. Mainly because of the way my close fit and the way my appearance has shifted.

// August 24//

I ran today. I went on vacation earlier this week and my calves were killing me. They started to hurt today, but about a mile in they were fine and haven’t even been causing me any pain. 

I wore spandex shorts on my run today. It felt so liberating and nice and made me wonder why I didn’t do it sooner. Especially since my inner thighs didn’t feel raw from chafing due to my running shorts. 

// August 17//

Ive decided to follow an exercise regime that i found to tone up and shed a couple pounds(I’ve gained 14 since march). So far Ive been doing good, but Im only 4 days in. 

I went to an amusement park with a water park the other day and was comfortable enough to walk around in my bikini which was a plus. It was also a good reminder that it is impossible to achieve that ‘perfect’ body that we all chase after because it doesn’t exist the way we think it does. The skinny girls with the flat stomachs and non flabby thighs looked sickly too me, which I guess is a step in the right mental direction. 

// August 7//

Didn’t exercise today and I feel like shit.

Guess I need to exercise. 

// August 6//

Well I need to get back on the healthy eating way of life but that won’t be happening right now. I ran and then came home and showered and already feel like going out and running again. Away from my problems, my frustrations, my insecurities, and everything that I hate about myself.

I haven’t even been running that long and already running is an escape, a sanctuary. And I think I’ll be okay with that.

// August 1//

I need to run 5 miles but man I feel like I’ve hit a wall and I only ran 4.7 miles.

I’m struggling eating healthy, it was hard today because their were brownies on the counter and while they weren’t great, they weren’t awful. But I will try again tomorrow.

I’m running tomorrow with a friend and I hope he will kick my butt up a notch so that I can begin increasing my distance so I’ll be ready for that half marathon.

I need to get sleep though, with my summer rec job ending though it will be easier to do so and make exercising more convent. 

// July 30//

I was having a frustrating day today. I felt like everyone was walking every which way over me and my emotions so after my second job and I went and I just ran. It was barely a 30 minute run but it felt so good, and refreshing and put me in a much, much better mood. I ran good. My sneakers are really helping though I’m not used to the pounding just quite yet.

I didn’t do as well on the healthy eating today. But tomorrow is a new day and a new leaf. I find that is I can just eat something filling when I am craving the junk that I do fine but its really hard not to give in.

I can do 10 push-ups without having to stop and give my arms a second to recover. I’ve also been doing the tricep pushups where you set your hands even with your breasts. Those are hard, i can only do them when I lower myself onto my knees.